My Existential Halloween

Damn you Brian.

It was only a matter of time before your existential angst spread to somebody else.

Spread to me.

So when I found myself in the school chapel this Halloween, while the dance raged on just a room away, I knew who I got it from.

Thanks a lot.

Anyhow, after playing some music at the game, I did go to the dance. But it's a different animal these days than it was freshmen year. It's not that the dances have changed all that much, but I broke up with Emma a while back, and now I go to the dances without a date.

Which should be fine, but look at the dances! Essentially it's just one big massive pit of students, nearly all of them 'grinding'. Which is fine and good fun and all when you've got a date, but what about when you don't? You have to work your way through the crowd looking for somebody to dance with. Which isn't easy at all.

I still manage to have fun at the dances, most of the time. But something ticked inside me last night and I sat down in the chapel a room away, deep in existential angst. Wishing things about my faith and religion... Wishing things about my ambitions... about my grades....

And wondering quite a bit whether there's a girl out there for me. A true soulmate. I'm really, really weird. I fear that there just isn't a girl that would complement me perfectly. That there really isn't anybody like me out there....

My love-life's kind of a mess, but I'll get into that later....