Brian, help me out. What do you do when your life's so chaotic that you don't know what to blog about? It's hard to funnel these events in my life to produce some sort of moral or cohesive story at al. I just feel lost in my own life's happenings. It's all too much.
Well I'm having trouble filter it out, so I'll try to say it all.
School - My schoolwork's taking a hit because of my disorganization, and my absolute loathing of Algebra II. I'm going to have to pull out some serious studying for finals if I want to salvage myself. My interactions with my friends and acquaintances are changing rapidly, and I'm not sure how to react. Old friends suddenly start to look like trash, and bare acquaintances show an incredible person. Through it all, I find myself much more understanding than anybody in the school. I hear sharp, harsh 'shut ups' thrown around all the time to outsiders, and I hate it. I can't even remember the last time I said that and meant it seriously.
Music - The new piano lessons are going great. Did I mention? I may not have. I have a new teacher. Really cool dude. In contrast, the band is attempting a concert, but we are botching it terribly, and at this point, I dread that the thing will fail entirely - it won't happen, or won't be very good. Apart from that, I'm getting gigs weekly now, and it has had a profound affect on my life. Suddenly I work part-time (sort of). My income for a month has doubled. But on the other end of that, I'm spending a lot more on music as well - Save For Rachel is in final production stages, but with all the money by now that I've spent on CDs and cases and production in general, I'll have to sell at least ten albums to make up for my losses. Let me just say, I had better sell more than ten albums. If you're interested in receiving one, I will be selling them next week at school, and extras at any of my gigs (5 dollars a pop). If you're just a blog reader and interested, leave a comment and I'll try to figure something out. I'm still trying to get a band together...
Confirmation - I'm getting confirmed this coming Monday. I'm not sure what to think - my morality right now is still tossed about. I feel like I'm making progress, but I am so, so unsure of everything in life right now. Maybe this will help me find my way again. But I'm not sure it will.
I'm sure there's more to say, but there's too much too say to bother saying it. And if anybody knows how to upload mp3's to a blog, please, please leave a comment.
Showing posts with label perception. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perception. Show all posts
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Uncertainty
They say death and taxes are the only sure things in life.
But say your government falls into anarchy, and there are no taxes?
And say medicine advances far enough to cure death?
What then can you be sure of?
Of course, I understand what the old saying means. Nothing in life is certain. And I agree. I keep on thinking I know something, and then I find out I'm wrong.
I remember when I went to camp at Camp Orkilah back in Washington talking about certainty. These kids told me that if you believed something, truly, one hundred and ten percent believed something as a complete fact, it would become a fact. If you truly believed the wall wasn't there, it would disappear. Of course, the catch was that you can never actually be completely, one hundred percent sure of anything. Ever.
It's supposed to be a statement about the power of perception. I don't believe that, but it does point out something about certainties. They're not one hundred percent.
I thought I had death figured out, to an extent. People didn't just die unless it was a tragic accident or medical problem, whether it was preexisting or recently attained. I was wrong. I remember, I was talking to my cousin Cathy. She mentioned her first husband, who died tragically. He felt crummy one morning, Cathy and the couple's son went out for chores, and when they came back, he was dead. The doctors couldn't find the cause of the death and filed it as unknown.
So, I'm not certain of anything more. A man can look fine today and be dead or terminally ill the next day. There is an inherent chaos and instability and uncertainty to life that will ironically never change. All we can do is try to understand it.
Death and taxes... Nothing is certain.
But say your government falls into anarchy, and there are no taxes?
And say medicine advances far enough to cure death?
What then can you be sure of?
Of course, I understand what the old saying means. Nothing in life is certain. And I agree. I keep on thinking I know something, and then I find out I'm wrong.
I remember when I went to camp at Camp Orkilah back in Washington talking about certainty. These kids told me that if you believed something, truly, one hundred and ten percent believed something as a complete fact, it would become a fact. If you truly believed the wall wasn't there, it would disappear. Of course, the catch was that you can never actually be completely, one hundred percent sure of anything. Ever.
It's supposed to be a statement about the power of perception. I don't believe that, but it does point out something about certainties. They're not one hundred percent.
I thought I had death figured out, to an extent. People didn't just die unless it was a tragic accident or medical problem, whether it was preexisting or recently attained. I was wrong. I remember, I was talking to my cousin Cathy. She mentioned her first husband, who died tragically. He felt crummy one morning, Cathy and the couple's son went out for chores, and when they came back, he was dead. The doctors couldn't find the cause of the death and filed it as unknown.
So, I'm not certain of anything more. A man can look fine today and be dead or terminally ill the next day. There is an inherent chaos and instability and uncertainty to life that will ironically never change. All we can do is try to understand it.
Death and taxes... Nothing is certain.
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