USJ

I have a lot of memories from eighth grade. It was a really great year for me. That may be why I wrote so much at the time.

One of my favorite memories from the eighth grade though, is the USJ. What's that you ask? Well it's the United States of Joe! One day I decided we needed some sort of organization to unify the class. And I knew I was the perfect guy to do it. So the USJ was born!

Right away, I had many loyal subjects: Zack Funke, Andy Harrington, Richie Harrison, and most of the boys in the class all joined right off the bat. With a growing population, I gathered the necessary props - a flag with Latin words on it and a cool emblem, a national anthem, and some incentive for other people to join.

First off was the flag. I had just read House of the Scorpion and I thought that the emblem should be a cool-looking scorpion. So I googled scorpion and found a nice one. As for the words, I used Paint and inserted "USJ" and "LIBERTATOS NOSTRORUM NUMQUAM CAPIENT" which means "the freedom of us shall never be taken." (I was thinking about Braveheart at the time...)

Next up was the anthem, and it was unanimous. We held a vote, and the anthem became "We're Not Gonna Take It!" Before the week had passed, the class would randomly burst out into a chorus of our anthem.

And finally came the incentive. I had saved up $20 for something like this. What do all eighth graders like? Candy! So off to Albertsons. Before you know it, we had a personalized goody bag with four candies in each one and labeled for each citizen of the USJ. The morale of my subjects soared, and I soon had many new citizens.

But of course, this couldn't last forever. Before the nation could live long, we found opposition from a few of the boys. Which wouldn't be a problem if they hadn't been the largest and toughest boys in the school. We soon found ourselves challenged to an airsoft war. But before I could organize one, I came down with appendicitis. My Vice President had to take over, but he was not exactly liked in this new position of power. Morale went down, and when I came back to school, weak as I was, the USJ no longer had the strength to counter the threats that it was receiving from these boys. And so ended the USJ.

But it was one of my great memories from the eighth grade. And it's another perfect example of me taking joy in the randomness of life. It's what I do best. And I will never forget those happy months that I was the president of the USJ...

100th Post!

Well everyone, here it is. My 100th post.

I don't know what to say here. I'm glad I've made it this far. I don't want to act like I've just gotten an award or something, I just want to say thanks to all of the people that kept me blogging.

Thanks!

Well, 100 posts, that's quite a milestone to pass. I've been aiming for it ever since I started. Every single one of my posts has the label alcatraz014 so that you can easily see just how many posts I've done. And now I'm finally in the triple-digits. I wonder, in seven or so years, will I be celebrating my 1000th post? Who knows?

At any rate, I'm really glad for all of my readers, so thanks Brian. Thanks Calvin. Thanks Silver. Thanks Bronte. Thanks Zack. Thanks Micheal. Thanks Seth Remling. Thanks all of you at BK who occasionally read me in your Computer Apps while you're trying to get to my game links. Thanks to all of you.

And to celebrate this, I am finally registering myself a domain. I will now be Therandomnessoflife.com!

Well I guess I'll just keep blogging now that I've made it this far. Keep reading!

An Alcatraz014 Featured Blurb: #1: Zack Funke

What's this? a blurb? i guess i'm supposed to define it, since i'm the first to write one... when the author of this site wishes to add a little authenticity to his recounts, or if he just wants you to understand the people he talks about a little better, he'll have them write a blurb; you know, a little freestyle.

With that said, i should start. Hi! My name's Zack Funke. yeah i know, weird name, it's pronounced "funky" and it's super cool cause no one i know has that name too. uhh... I'm 14 years old, and I go to "the author's" school in Boise, Idaho. I'm a freshman, but not for long -- one day i'll help bring the Knights to another football state championship. I may even play varsity football before my junior year, that would rock! So, as you can see, I like football. I played on the junior varsity team this year, with inexperienced juniors, sophomores and talented freshman. I also play basketball... my height and weight is a great advantage, but i'm not skilled enough to make anything higher than freshman, for now. I'm 5'11 and weigh 149 pounds... kinda skinny for a football player, but i run like crazy in track and lacrosse and lift like crazy in football and conditioning, so i'm fairly lean with some above average muscle mass; nothing too exciting, though.

As far as schoolwork goes, I've always been a good student; like, straight A+. i find ways to make extra credit, and my learning style is thorough and I have a hard work ethic along with exceptional structural understanding of material.... all these big words, they come from my dad, who pushes me to go this far. I'm in one advanced math class, if you consider Algebra 1 the default math class for 9th grade; i'm in geometry. as for science, already took earth science, physical science is too easy, so i was put in conceptual physics. pretty much a dumbed down and cartooned version of regular physics, it still gives you a great understanding of the world. science has always been my strong suit... which is strange, because it's not something instinctive, like math, it's more something learned, like history. maybe somewhere inbetween... i've always been really interested in astrophysics, particle physics, quantum mechanics, how space and time work... how we think... how or brains work.... things that we don't know about yet. someday i'd like to make a discovery; i would never use my real name though, i'd never get the end of "NERD!"

that's right... my writing style makes me sound like a frickin nerd, but it's just the way i write. gets good grades in english. i have a ton of awesome friends, since i went to a catholic school for elementary school and jr. high, and the catholic-school-web called TVCS pretty much has all of the students doing stuff together. think of one huge class of about 90, only you know them all really well and you're all going to the same high school! pretty awesome, if you ask me. my girlfriend's also from my class; she's amazing too, and she might even write a blurb on here sometime. who knows, it's joe's choice!

anyway... uhh... there's probably a picture on here somewhere, but i have brown curly hair, a crooked (once broken) nose, wear contacts, braces, long arms, big legs, and big feet. it's all more or less in proportion to everything else, so, not too bad, i guess. like i said, i'm 5'11" and 149, and can play football, basketball, track and lacrosse. i know how to play baseball, but i can't play THREE spring sports. and, lastly, joe referred to me as "the bracelet heir" a couple times on here before; that's me. but call me Zack. bracelet heir makes me sound like some kind of arabian prince with a golden bracelet or something.... hahaha.

--Zack Funke

Beowulf (and polls)

I happened to see Beowulf this Sunday. And I'll be truthful. It was kind of weird. Of course I had to consider that this was based on a sixth century epic poem based on monsters and sex. So not much different than most movies.

It was pretty good. I would suggest it highly.

But there's big news for alcatraz014. For anyone who's been reading, I would just like you to know that the polls closed tonight at 8:00 P.M. The new web address is http://alcatraz014.blogspot.com. No more heifen.

I'm going to set up another site at the old address to make sure that if anyone actually goes back they can find my new address.

Monday is fast aproaching. Something wicked this way comes... and guess what it is? School. What's happening this week? Well I've got a test in Health, and that's all that comes to mind. Yeah, sorry this is such a short post, but I got squat to talk about. You all will just have to wait until Tuesday for something good. Maybe I can get that blurb from Zack...


"Are you the one they call Beowulf? Such a strong man you are. A man like you could own the greatest tale ever sung." - Grendel's Mother (Angelina Jolie) from Beowulf

The Bracelet Heir (and polls)

Say hello to Zack Funke, my editor and friend. This is the bracelet heir.

If you have read my earlier posts (esp. Last Will and Testament) you will have known vaguely about this shady character. But here he is now, clear as a bell. We both go to the same school and share many of the same subjects together. We are very much alike in our interests.

Me and him were in the same class in kindergarten, and we've known each other ever since. We both spent nine years at the same school, St. Mary's. It seems Zack's always been there, whether or not I wished it. Even when I started ridiculous schemes, he was there laughing and playing along. Like starting my own country. Or planning a all-out invasion of the seventh grade. Or writing a blog.

This last year though we have become somewhat closer to each other. Something about high school picked us out and recognized that we were alike, so it paired us together. We share three classes together - English & speech (same teacher) and Conceptual Physics. So just like the years before, he's always there, playing along.

Zack is very bright and has made straight A's for most his life. I'd probably have his grades, but I don't study or finish homework diligently. Oh well. You can't have everything in this life, but I think with Zack there's a good balance. He's smart, athletic, social, and quirky. I think that over the years I've inspired in him something I've always had: a joy in the randomness of things.

So now we've got a nice little duo here. Joe & Zack. The inspiration and the brains. The hand and the pen. Better watch out, blogging world. Because two heads is better than one. Hopefully I can get him to write a blurb sometime next week. We'll see how things work out.

Now, before I close on a good note, I'd like to ruin the moment by telling everyone about how the polls scored. Last week I set up a poll that asked, "If I put a poll on my blog, would anybody vote in it?" The replies were 1. Yeah, I would. 2. No... 3. This is a retarded question and I refuse to answer it. Here's the results! Drum roll please!
1. Yeah, I would 5 votes-62%
2. No 0 votes-0%
3. This is a retarded question and I refuse to answer it 3 votes-37%

I will now hold a poll on advertising. This is an important one; be sure to vote.


"I get by with a little help from my friends." - The Beatles