My Existential Halloween

Damn you Brian.

It was only a matter of time before your existential angst spread to somebody else.

Spread to me.

So when I found myself in the school chapel this Halloween, while the dance raged on just a room away, I knew who I got it from.

Thanks a lot.

Anyhow, after playing some music at the game, I did go to the dance. But it's a different animal these days than it was freshmen year. It's not that the dances have changed all that much, but I broke up with Emma a while back, and now I go to the dances without a date.

Which should be fine, but look at the dances! Essentially it's just one big massive pit of students, nearly all of them 'grinding'. Which is fine and good fun and all when you've got a date, but what about when you don't? You have to work your way through the crowd looking for somebody to dance with. Which isn't easy at all.

I still manage to have fun at the dances, most of the time. But something ticked inside me last night and I sat down in the chapel a room away, deep in existential angst. Wishing things about my faith and religion... Wishing things about my ambitions... about my grades....

And wondering quite a bit whether there's a girl out there for me. A true soulmate. I'm really, really weird. I fear that there just isn't a girl that would complement me perfectly. That there really isn't anybody like me out there....

My love-life's kind of a mess, but I'll get into that later....

Drama Indeed

I feel like I don't have anything to write about most of the time, but there are some reasons behind that. One, I really am quite busy. I joined the play again, and so now I'm at school until six practicing every weekday. And the sophomore schoolwork isn't getting any easier. So it leaves me with very little time.

But I think a second, more interesting reason that I haven't been writing lately is because I've become quite numbed to the day-to-day drama that I used to be able to write about. But now it just doesn't seem interesting. That's not to say that there haven't been interesting things happening. How could I have not told all of you that my parents just got back from a cruise in Alaska, and that they were gone for a week? How could I have not told you about asking a junior out to homecoming and getting turned down (in my defense, she already had a date)? How could I have not told you about writing a song for a biology presentation? How could I not have told you about my older brother Michael, who recently started his own blog so he could write about his studying abroad? How could I not have told you about my uncle Brian's so called "intervention" for existential angst? How people keep putting games on the Bishop Kelly shared drive on my files? Or how I'm still working on Mondays, and just finished typing chapter 7? Or how I've already arranged/wrote two songs for the Bishop Kelly Band (one was Bittersweet Symphony, and the other was a "One Tin Soldier" Cover I wrote myself)? Or how I'm devising plans for another run for school president, involving the revival of the USJ and a musical performance for the speech? How I found (or rather how it found me) a way to save up basically all of my monthly allowance? How I honestly suspect that I've been subject to identity theft this month? How I heard about and found the entrance to Gnome-land (Bishop Kelly students, if you don't get this one, try asking around, you may be surprised)? And how I'm still trying to get together a functional band amidst all the chaos of my day-to-day life?

Shame on me.

You could say I'm taking for granted the randomness of life. I ought to think more about how lucky I am to be so strange and do so many things. By the way I've been posting, you'd think my life was dull.

Dull! Ha!

I laugh at the thought of me having a dull life. I have always tried to make my life exciting. And with a few exceptions in the long stretch of summer, I have always succeeded.

So look forward to some more regular posting from now on. Of course, if you do get bored, you can always switch 2 plan b...