More Dreams

Well we had our EDG3! show a while back, and it went very well. It feels great to finally get onstage and do a performance with the band. A real performance anyway. It's not like the Christmas concerts and stuff counted - this time we had lighting, and even a bit of choreography. It feels good - a big improvement on our concerts last year.

I got my name on a plaque for the second time this year. Felt good. I asked Mr. Haskell (band director) if it was possible to get the award next year, and he gave me some projects to consider.

1. Composing a piece for the band to learn and enter into a competition.
2. Composing a new piece of christmas music for the christmas concert.
3. Writing the show for next year, which very well may be a full-blown musical.

This is going to be awesome. You have no idea how this enthralls me.

On other news, now that summer has begun for me, I have found myself more bored than usual. I'm actually going to have to make up some credit in Algebra II over the summer, but I'm alright with that. I haven't started yet, that's the thing.

I'm beginning to mix up real life with my dreams. I store something, or find something somewhere, and when I wake up, part of me honestly believes that it's there. It's strange when you feel like you know where something is, and then realize that you based that off of a dream you recently had. It's like I'm going insane... I hope I'm not! Or, at least, I hope I'm not going more insane...

Oh! And I bought a microphone. Standard sort with the three prong plug in, not the greatest one out there, but pretty standard. Alon with that and the recently purchased boom stand, things are beginning to look pretty cool.

I had a piano recital this Thursday, and I played 'Oh Danny Boy' flawlessly. Listening to the other kids play their songs, I remember when I, like them, used to pause in the middle of a performance after a mistake, trying to correct it. I can't blame them. It's natural for them. But after getting used to performing, you get better and better at covering up your mistakes and truckin' right over them. It's and invaluable skill to have at this point in the game. It was a nice throwback though, and the recital was fun. Been so long since I've had a recital. Performances, sure, but recitals...

By the way, I'm bored. Anybody reading this nearby, take note, you should hang out with me. Yeah...

Once In A Dream

The best waking moments of my life seem to be those that are more like dreams.

I haven't been dreaming lately. This saddens me. Maybe it's because of all that's been going on. Dad's been having more seizures at home and Mom is kind of stressed due to that. And somehow I find myself trying out for a play and organizing a talent show at the same time. And I'm trying to hang out with my friends more, but there's just not enough time to do all this and have any time at the end of the day to relax a little.

What bothers me most is Dad. I've had trouble getting to sleep since a couple of days ago when he started having trouble again. I'm just so worried. People tell me to try to be optimistic and hopeful, but I can't help but wondering how this story will end. He's going to be starting radiation soon. My friend Sam had a Dad go through cancer. He told me never to see Dad go through radiation. He said seeing his dad go through it still gave him nightmares.

What to think in these troubled times? The most comforting thing I can ever do is lay my head down on a pillow and be whisked away by imagination. Sometimes I wonder whether heaven is just one eternal dream. A reverie, ever-changing and morphing to what the thinker wants it to be. And sometimes what the thinker needs, but doesn't realize. There are truly infinite possibilities in the realm of dreams, and every one is unique and meaningful. I've come up with songs before in my sleep. They were better than anything I've written awake.

There are two other comforting thoughts (memories really) I can look at. A flashback to that moment in the St. Joe's Church. Dad had just taken the anointing of the sick. He came and sat back down next to Mom. We all held onto each other, and for a golden, hopeful moment, everything was gone.

And a dream. A single dream from long ago. Micheal and Jessica and Andy and Mom and Dad and me, hugging in a beautiful, bittersweet moment. And behind us is a montage of all the happy places we've been together. Seattle, Maui, Lake Cushman, the list goes on. And when it goes black, we're still there, hugging.

Things are what you make of them. But dreams are what your soul makes of you.