Requiem

When I came home Monday, Dad was unresponsive, laying there, in the hospital bed we had moved into the bedroom a week earlier. A priest was standing over Dad as I walked in, speaking some sort of blessing over him. I joined my family around him. Tears flowed freely as we realized how close our dear father was to death.

Over the course of the day, Dad miraculously sustained somewhat stable conditions while family and friends arrived at house. Mom's friend Beth, and Gary's father, Don. Dad survived the night, but remained unresponsive and of declining, hopeless health. By the end of the next day, Uncle David, Uncle Brian, Uncle Jeff, Aunt Kim, and Aunt Amy, as well as a few of their spouses. We convened in Dad's bedroom, sitting by him, standing watch.

His whole family was there in the house.
His wife, laying next to him on the hospital bed, squeezed up against the metal bars.
His siblings, scattered around the bedroom, or throughout the house helping.
His dad, sitting solemnly in the armchair.
His kids, kissing him goodnight and sleeping on the floor to be near to him.
Even his dog Yogi was there, sitting vigilantly next to him on the bed.

A hospice nurse came by, and estimated that he could last a couple of days. By Wednesday, Mom began to prepare us, telling us she anticipated Dad's death sometime that night. But he held on.

By Thursday, Gary's vitals were decreasing. Not shocking, but an ominous sign of his imminent death. Mom, with more certainty this time, told us Dad would probably die during the night. But he held on.

On Friday, a chaplain from St. Luke's came by and prayed a blessing over Dad. Mom cried silently into Dad's shoulder. The chaplain left. And suddenly, Dad's breathing became astoundingly shallow. Mom called us over, intuiting her husband's last moments. His kids came to him and held his hand, whispering "I love you, Dad"s as Gary passed away.

It was no surprise, really, to anybody.

Somehow I thought that would soften the blow.

It didn't.

The problem here is that this is more than the death of a father, or a husband, or a brother, or a son. It's so much more. Words fail to explain it.

(to be continued?)

Just When It Was Supposed To Be A Happy Ending... (Part 2)

I rushed downstairs. Things weren't looking good. Mom and Dad had been staying in the basement, and Dad was in the bedroom, door closed. Mom was teary-eyed on the armchair, talking to Grandpa Don. I knew what had happened. Dad had had some seizures, got incredibly weak, and Mom took him to bed.

I sat with Mom for a bit, trying to comfort her. She told me a little bit of the story - Dad, although his walking had improved over the last couple of weeks, as of tonight, couldn't seem to walk. After a while, she asked me to leave so that she and Grandpa could talk.

I complied and went up to my room, trying to understand what this meant. I had gotten so used to how things had been for the past months... this was such a shock, and obviously really bad. It looked like things were going to change for the worse. I cried a bit myself, overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all. It really is terrible, especially for a man like Gary. It's hard to describe.

Eventually the night came to a gradual end. Beth and Alyssa and all their friends and relatives left for home. I packed it in for the night downstairs. I was still sleeping down there while Grandpa was in town. As if sleeping wouldn't be hard enough in my own bed.

But that's not what kept me up.

Dad got up around midnight to go to the bathroom. He fell. It woke me up with a shock. I put his arm around my neck and lifted him up. He could barely support his own weight, even with me helping. Eventually, though, I got him back into his bed.

Unfortunately, he did the same thing in an hour, and this time with worse results. He fell, again, and hurt his foot. I came in and helped him back into bed again. His foot was in pain, and it seemed pretty bad. He was barely be able to move around without it hurting. But there wasn't anything we could really do about it. It was his bad foot. Getting it cast, even if it was broken, wouldn't help us. I went back to bed. I still had to get up in six hours.

As if the situation wasn't bad enough already...

Just When It Was Supposed To Be A Happy Ending... (Part 1)

I should've known. It was too perfect of a day - something had to go wrong...

It was Thursday. The school day went smoothly, and Troy and I waited after school for the Christmas concert. I bought some food for Troy and some friends down at Subway. We came back, and the band started showing up.

We tuned and started the concert. The concert was short, but we did pretty good. We played several old classic christmas carols and then transitioned into more contemporary christmas music - Christmas Time Is Here, Adeste Phidelius, Manheim Steamroller Silent Night, and we finished it off with Wizards in Winter. That last song was the best. Troy, on his guitar, got up center stage with the bass and rocked out.

At any rate, afterwards I hung out with my friends and watched the wrestling match in the Carley Center. Troy took me home.

We had a lot of guests over that night. That's the reason that Mom and Dad didn't make it to the Christmas concert. Really busy night for them. My mom's best friend is Beth, and her daughter Alyssa is a friend of the family living here in Boise. It was Alyssa's birthday Thursday, and consequently, most of her family showed up in our house to celebrate it.

It was kind of awkward walking in - I barely know any of them at all, save Alyssa and Beth. I quickly worked my way through the mass of visitors with drinks in their hands to find Beth.

"How's it going Beth?"
"Good, you?"
"Good." I looked around. "Hey, where's Mom and Dad?"
She sighed. "They're downstairs. Your Dad had a rough night..."

Shit...

In Other News

I've been working on an album lately. I've got about ten songs so far, and a few of them are decent. The others... well, some of them are decent. I've also been working on my book. I haven't and won't be posting on my Monday Musings blog anymore, or at least, I won't be posting that story. I hope to get it published at some point. That would be fun.

The Christmas Concert is tonight. I've arranged Wizards in Winter for it, a rock christmas song. The band is somewhat unprepared, but we'll pull it off. We'll be fine. Make it if you can (event details on the sidebar).

I have relatives and friends in town this weekend, including Grandpa Don, my Mom's best friend Beth, and her daughter Alyssa. It's actually Alyssa's birthday today. (Happy birthday Alyssa) They are staying at the house, which unfortunately means that I get to sleep downstairs on the couch. It wouldn't have been so bad if Mom hadn't given me a single blanket that doesn't even cover my feet...

I haven't started studying yet, but I plan to spend most of my weekend preparing for the finals. Except for Sunday. I may or may not have a racquetball tournament with some friends at the Y that day. A lot of guys I hung out with from swim team still want to get a chance to beat me at racquetball. I won't let them get that chance, though.

Micheal's coming on back Christmas Eve. Can't wait to see him.

That's all for today... I hope you've had a good day, and from all of us here at Alcatraz014, have a good night.