Misdirection

Now that drama is over, I find myself with a lot more time. And I can't decide whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. I remember, a year ago, when I started this blog, I was having a similar dilemma. Is it better to work away, feeling pressured and stressed, or have too much time to yourself and feel unproductive?

For the past month or so, I've been living through the first of these options. A lot of work and a lot of stress. Most of that was because of the play. I can't quite express how big of a commitment it was. Everyday, after school, for two and a half hours, and then things got ridiculous later on. We spent twelve hours one Sunday rehearsing 'til ten 'o clock. I spent half of my nights up late doing homework.

The end of drama apparently coincided with a light homework week, because I've been finding myself completely free after school. I find things to do, but I get the feeling that I am indeed unproductive. And the problem about this sort of thing is that I always get into bad habits this way, making heavy homework quite a bit more difficult for me.

But I have to admit I'm enjoying this lifestyle currently. I don't know what it is, but I seem to like not having direction. I'm a kid. I love wandering around, exploring, just doing things for the sake of doing them. It feels great to me. It's complex.

It's what also gets me in trouble though. For example, I have time after school, which I would usually spend in the computer lab, playing games off the shared drive. But, I was recently called into the office because of computer violations. I thought the accusations were a bit exaggerated, but that wasn't my decision, and my computer rights are now restricted to fifth period, my computer class. But if I behave, they'll probably give me my rights at the semester. So I'll have to watch my step....

I guess I'm just enjoying my free time now, whether or not I'm doing anything useful with it. Although I did recently finish arranging Viva La Vida for the band! We're playing it this coming Friday at the football game. And afterwards, there's another Soc-hop! This has happened before, and I love doing it. I get to play keyboard and then go to a dance. It's awesome.

P.S. For anybody who knows me, I recently got a Facebook... Go ahead and add me as a friend if you like.