What To Say...

Brian, help me out. What do you do when your life's so chaotic that you don't know what to blog about? It's hard to funnel these events in my life to produce some sort of moral or cohesive story at al. I just feel lost in my own life's happenings. It's all too much.

Well I'm having trouble filter it out, so I'll try to say it all.

School - My schoolwork's taking a hit because of my disorganization, and my absolute loathing of Algebra II. I'm going to have to pull out some serious studying for finals if I want to salvage myself. My interactions with my friends and acquaintances are changing rapidly, and I'm not sure how to react. Old friends suddenly start to look like trash, and bare acquaintances show an incredible person. Through it all, I find myself much more understanding than anybody in the school. I hear sharp, harsh 'shut ups' thrown around all the time to outsiders, and I hate it. I can't even remember the last time I said that and meant it seriously.

Music - The new piano lessons are going great. Did I mention? I may not have. I have a new teacher. Really cool dude. In contrast, the band is attempting a concert, but we are botching it terribly, and at this point, I dread that the thing will fail entirely - it won't happen, or won't be very good. Apart from that, I'm getting gigs weekly now, and it has had a profound affect on my life. Suddenly I work part-time (sort of). My income for a month has doubled. But on the other end of that, I'm spending a lot more on music as well - Save For Rachel is in final production stages, but with all the money by now that I've spent on CDs and cases and production in general, I'll have to sell at least ten albums to make up for my losses. Let me just say, I had better sell more than ten albums. If you're interested in receiving one, I will be selling them next week at school, and extras at any of my gigs (5 dollars a pop). If you're just a blog reader and interested, leave a comment and I'll try to figure something out. I'm still trying to get a band together...

Confirmation - I'm getting confirmed this coming Monday. I'm not sure what to think - my morality right now is still tossed about. I feel like I'm making progress, but I am so, so unsure of everything in life right now. Maybe this will help me find my way again. But I'm not sure it will.

I'm sure there's more to say, but there's too much too say to bother saying it. And if anybody knows how to upload mp3's to a blog, please, please leave a comment.

First Gig

Disclaimer: That is not me, nor is it my guitar.

Apathy and distraction suck, let me tell you.

I rue the day that teachers invented BlackBoard (online homework system). I had a tough enough time doing homework in my room all alone. I'd get distracted even then. How did they think it was that good of an idea? Wasn't it obvious that people would end up on Facebook, or YouTube, or anywhere but where they are supposed to be?

Ugh. It sucks. My grades for this semester aren't going to be too hot, not at all. My grades this first quarter were really bad with Dad and all, and I'm not having much luck trying to make up for it this quarter.

But it doesn't matter, and you know why? I've already made up my mind about my career, and I'm fairly certain that I'll want to do the same thing for ages. I want to be a musician, plain and simple. I actually just played my first gig this last Friday at the Dream Cafe. It didn't turn out like I expected (I was double-booked, took shifts with two other musicians, and ending up playing (and singing) mostly on guitar) but for the most part it turned out well. It's a miracle too - I got the job just as I ran broke, and now I've got enough to make it through the month. Barely, but still.

So I'll try to keep up with schoolwork, but I'm not honestly too worried about it. With my music, I've got plenty of backup plans. In fact, if I do go to college, it will be mostly to try to do something more with my music, maybe join some cool music program.

Also, I kind of lied about Save For Rachel. Underestimated production time and what-not. Still looking to get cover art and booklets and what not. So may be a couple of weeks, because I'm heading to Seattle this coming weekend. Sorry, any BK readers.

For now though I'll try to keep up with my homework after practicing piano. That's my priorities right there.

My Weekend Was So Busy I Can't Even Come Up With A Witty Title...

Whoa. All over the damn place this weekend. It was a four-day weekend, but that didn't help much.

Thursday - Woke up at twelve-ish, did chores 'til about three when I went back to school. See, we still had drama rehearsals over the weekend even though there was no school. That went well, but the fun began afterwards, at about six. Who had set up but Powderpuff football? For outsiders, Powderpuff football is an annual event where sophomore girls face off against the freshmen girls and seniors battle off the juniors in flag football.

So what was I doing?

Well.... I can't exactly tell you. See here's the thing - whenever I get in trouble for something, it's because of my big mouth. I mean I even blog about all of my mischief! But not this time. Because a week later, I still haven't gotten in trouble for it. If I keep up with the pattern I may actually get away with things! No hints. No clues. Nothing.

But I was back in time to see the Bonfire, which was incredible. Thursday was good.

Friday was better. That Friday was the Homecoming Game. The band didn't want to miss out and we promptly arrived with our gear. Although I was confined to a single keyboard, I still rocked out with the rest of the crew all the way 'til near the end of the game when it started raining. At that point we packed up. Unfortunately, the team lost. That was a bit of a bummer... but that was the end of Friday.

Saturday was the Homecoming Dance. And although that was fun, it wasn't quite as cool as last year due to a location change. But we won't be dancing out in that tent again if I have anything to say about it. And I do.

Sunday, finally, decompressed a little, and all I had to do was manage through Confirmation Classes at St.John's.

This was a special event weekend, but I'm not sure how I'm gonna manage everything... I'm already falling behind. The quarter's almost up and I haven't got the 4.0 I wanted. In fact I've got a C in History. I thought I could make it this year. I thought if I tried this hard, I would do great. I'd exceed.

I was wrong.

It's like every inch of my ambition is telling me...

"Oh Crap... This isn't good..."

(By the way, the next post will be my one hundred and fiftieth! Neat, huh?)

Finals, Essays, Tests, and Grades

Well I'm not gonna say much about this - I'm just gonna say that it was a lot of stress and it boils down to my grades, which I'll put up here. I'm not the sort of person who is able to or even hard working enough to get a 4.0, so instead I slide by with a respectable 3.5. (note: my geometry grade is actually an A, it just hasn't gotten changed yet) (another note: I'm not putting my grades up to show off, it's more because I've got a lack of content right now and I need to fill in some May posts before I run out of time for it. If you're looking for fresh content from me, try reading Chapter 1 of Mondays at Monday Musings (it's on the side bar.))


Band - A
Computer Apps 2 - B
A PLEASURE TO HAVE IN CLASS NOT WORKING TO FULL POTENTIAL
English I - B
Geometry - B+
Concept Physics - B+
Spanish I - B
A PLEASURE TO HAVE IN CLASS PLEASANT AND HARD WORKING
Theology I - A
Boys' P.E. - A