Equality.
I talk to essentially everybody as equals. Is there anything wrong with that? Most people, I'll try to have a decent one-on-one conversation with. But I'm not going to take extra steps to tread carefully in my conversation. I'm not going to put extra effort into making sure I'm being 'respectful'.
Respect.
That word is thrown around a lot, I think. There are a lot of adults that, upon meeting them, you realize that 'respect' is a big thing to them. What does that translate to? Don't tease them and treat them as your superior. Now maybe it's just because I don't like being in that position, but I think it's kind of ridiculous. Why does their age mean they can't talk to us as equals? I feel like my conversations would be cut short if I was constantly worried about disrespecting somebody.
Respect your elders. That line gives me troubles. I'm all for respecting people who deserve it, but I'm not sure respect should mean that you can't tease somebody or debate with them. And is age always an indicator that somebody deserves respect? Why? I never got that. People seem to get older and suddenly feel a sense of entitlement to people respecting them. To me this just seems like they want to feel better than other people.
If you've seen me in class, you probably wouldn't think that I respect my teachers, but I do. But the people I hold in high regard, the people I respect, I can talk to as equals. Otherwise they're just distant idols.
Sometimes people treat their equals badly. Friends do practical jokes on each other all the time, to the point where it is harassment - the only thing missing is a malicious intent. In these situations the intent is something different. Something that thinks it's funny.
Are they treating their friends as equals? I don't think so. That right there is a real lack of respect. But real respect shouldn't mean that you have to watch your step around somebody because they're your elders. The people I respect the most are the people I can be open and honest and frank to, people I can tease and have a good time with. To be honest, I have very little respect for the people who feel they are entitled to respect as elders. Somehow, to me, it just doesn't work like that.
Thoughts?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Barbados
Well it's the beginning of July, the month of vacations and true summer times. Me and my family are heading to Barbados today. I probably won't be able to post for a while (although admittedly you probably won't notice any difference). Hopefully I'll come back with stories, though!
See you around. Hope you all are having great summers.
See you around. Hope you all are having great summers.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Fame
Recently I have become fascinated with the Jonas Brothers.
Fascinated.
Notice the choice of words there. Not infatuated, not in love with, not a fan of.
But fascinated. Intrigued, really. Because they're at the top, pretty much. Set for life, almost as famous as it gets. Maybe not universally respected, but almost universally recognized.
How do they do it?
And I know that the real answer is Walt Disney is pulling most of the strings. But that's what gets me interested. Just which strings, and how many of them are they pulling?
There are some people who believe that these people are completely legitimate: they write all of their own songs, they write all of their lyrics by choice, and the image that they give isn't manipulated - it's just who they are.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, people such as my younger brother Andy, believe it all to be a total scam. Disney buys songs for the group, writes their lyrics to be clean, and set up their distinctive image so that nobody can say they're a bad influence.
Musicians? Or Frauds?
Now I'm pretty sure that neither of these two sides are completely right; I'm pretty certain the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I've listened to some of their songs. It's alright. Nothing special, but they're alright. They're no fantastic musicians, but I'm pretty sure they at least qualify. But at the same time, I can't help but wonder how much of it was written by them, or bought by Disney.
And then there's the whole image thing. It's a big deal because it's perfect. The image. It's too... goody two-shoes, especially when you expect musicians to be involved with parties and alcohol and drugs and whatnot. These guys wear 'purity rings', basically the same concept as a chastity belt. They have a minister, who, if I'm not mistaken, is also their father, come to all of their concerts and say a prayer beforehand. And after hearing about all of this and then listening to their lyrics... it's just hard to take them seriously.
Another facet of the possibility of them being a sham is that they are actually trapped more than we know. For all we know, Disney's got them on a restrictive, long-term contract that restrains both their musical and personal freedom. It's hard to believe that they don't sometimes, after reading about how pure their music and lifestyles are. Parents and preteens are lapping it up, throwing money at these guys.
I just want to meet these guys and have an honest conversation with them. Are they frauds with no musical integrity? Are they trapped artists? Are they self-righteous, goody-two shows pricks, or just abnormally good influences for musicians?
Who are these guys?
What makes them tick?
Saturday, June 13, 2009
My Music
This is as close as I could get to uploading my music directly to my blog.
Go HERE and log in as
mr.pianodude@hotmail.com
password - alcatraz
Or feel free to sign up to the website yourself. Just thought this might make things easier. Anyway, here are four songs from my first album, Save For Rachel. Enjoy listening!
Go HERE and log in as
mr.pianodude@hotmail.com
password - alcatraz
Or feel free to sign up to the website yourself. Just thought this might make things easier. Anyway, here are four songs from my first album, Save For Rachel. Enjoy listening!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Switched
I used to have an urge to write. And it was a considerable urge, perhaps comparable to some of my fellow blogger's motivation. It's what drove me to write in this blog so much in the first place.
Things have changed though, unsurprisingly.
The real urge is now to play music, and it's still not very strong. But it is strong enough to have led me to produce an album in the course of a year or so.
I may have mentioned it, but I am now studying with Del Parkinson, the head of the music department at Boise State University. He's a great guy, but furthermore he is impressed with me, and is pushing me harder, and pushing me to practice more.
At any rate, most of the motivation that got me to write my book, or got me to write daily in this blog, is now gone. It's a pity too. I can force myself to write, and I'd like to think I can still write well, but I lack the motivation to do so on a regular basis and I feel as if I have nothing to say.
So that's why I'm writing less.
Cause I'm playing more.
I'm still trying to figure out how to upload music to this damn blog...
Things have changed though, unsurprisingly.
The real urge is now to play music, and it's still not very strong. But it is strong enough to have led me to produce an album in the course of a year or so.
I may have mentioned it, but I am now studying with Del Parkinson, the head of the music department at Boise State University. He's a great guy, but furthermore he is impressed with me, and is pushing me harder, and pushing me to practice more.
At any rate, most of the motivation that got me to write my book, or got me to write daily in this blog, is now gone. It's a pity too. I can force myself to write, and I'd like to think I can still write well, but I lack the motivation to do so on a regular basis and I feel as if I have nothing to say.
So that's why I'm writing less.
Cause I'm playing more.
I'm still trying to figure out how to upload music to this damn blog...
Monday, June 8, 2009
Sanctuary From Change
Sitting here at the computer these nights, I wonder if I'm in my own world. Everything upstairs and outside seems so distant, it's like I could be stuck alone in this one place forever.
It's not just there though. I get that feeling other places too. Sometimes in my room, or in the car. There's this strange feeling that maybe I won't be able to get out, and this'll be the last place I ever spend time again.
You may be thinking that this is strange, but not so if you think about it. There are people who lock themselves up in a house all the time. Recluses. Hermits. Their lives are confined to a single space. Things don't change for them.
I can almost understand why people choose this way of life. The world is a scary thing. Things and people change. And change is hard. Why not try to block out the change, and make your life a ritual?
I think we all do this to an extent - We keep something in our life that we can always count on to be the same, or something that we try to keep the same. We make habits, and items, as a sanctuary from change.
For example, I've talked about my bracelets before. This one on my right wrist has been on for years now, and the one on my left wrist was on for almost a year as well. I kept them on constantly.
But now one of them is gone.
I'm not going to explain how it happened, but the bracelet on my left wrist is gone. Maybe this shouldn't matter, but it does. Those bracelets were a part of me. They stayed with me through it all - the thick and the thin, the joy and the sorrow, all of my experiences from the past years. If you could see their history, you could see me change and grow.
These two things have become two of the most spiritual things in my life. I kissed them on occasion for good luck, and before major milestones in my life. Hell, I kissed them before I got confirmed. And one of them is gone. Emotionally, it's like all those stories are gone, and I miss all the sentiment of having both of them. Physically I can actually feel that it's gone. My body's gotten so used to having these things on, and now it almost seems to miss them.
Am I being silly? I can't tell. Should it hurt like this, when you lose a sanctuary?
It's not just there though. I get that feeling other places too. Sometimes in my room, or in the car. There's this strange feeling that maybe I won't be able to get out, and this'll be the last place I ever spend time again.
You may be thinking that this is strange, but not so if you think about it. There are people who lock themselves up in a house all the time. Recluses. Hermits. Their lives are confined to a single space. Things don't change for them.
I can almost understand why people choose this way of life. The world is a scary thing. Things and people change. And change is hard. Why not try to block out the change, and make your life a ritual?
I think we all do this to an extent - We keep something in our life that we can always count on to be the same, or something that we try to keep the same. We make habits, and items, as a sanctuary from change.
For example, I've talked about my bracelets before. This one on my right wrist has been on for years now, and the one on my left wrist was on for almost a year as well. I kept them on constantly.
But now one of them is gone.
I'm not going to explain how it happened, but the bracelet on my left wrist is gone. Maybe this shouldn't matter, but it does. Those bracelets were a part of me. They stayed with me through it all - the thick and the thin, the joy and the sorrow, all of my experiences from the past years. If you could see their history, you could see me change and grow.
These two things have become two of the most spiritual things in my life. I kissed them on occasion for good luck, and before major milestones in my life. Hell, I kissed them before I got confirmed. And one of them is gone. Emotionally, it's like all those stories are gone, and I miss all the sentiment of having both of them. Physically I can actually feel that it's gone. My body's gotten so used to having these things on, and now it almost seems to miss them.
Am I being silly? I can't tell. Should it hurt like this, when you lose a sanctuary?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
More Dreams
Well we had our EDG3! show a while back, and it went very well. It feels great to finally get onstage and do a performance with the band. A real performance anyway. It's not like the Christmas concerts and stuff counted - this time we had lighting, and even a bit of choreography. It feels good - a big improvement on our concerts last year.
I got my name on a plaque for the second time this year. Felt good. I asked Mr. Haskell (band director) if it was possible to get the award next year, and he gave me some projects to consider.
1. Composing a piece for the band to learn and enter into a competition.
2. Composing a new piece of christmas music for the christmas concert.
3. Writing the show for next year, which very well may be a full-blown musical.
This is going to be awesome. You have no idea how this enthralls me.
On other news, now that summer has begun for me, I have found myself more bored than usual. I'm actually going to have to make up some credit in Algebra II over the summer, but I'm alright with that. I haven't started yet, that's the thing.
I'm beginning to mix up real life with my dreams. I store something, or find something somewhere, and when I wake up, part of me honestly believes that it's there. It's strange when you feel like you know where something is, and then realize that you based that off of a dream you recently had. It's like I'm going insane... I hope I'm not! Or, at least, I hope I'm not going more insane...
Oh! And I bought a microphone. Standard sort with the three prong plug in, not the greatest one out there, but pretty standard. Alon with that and the recently purchased boom stand, things are beginning to look pretty cool.
I had a piano recital this Thursday, and I played 'Oh Danny Boy' flawlessly. Listening to the other kids play their songs, I remember when I, like them, used to pause in the middle of a performance after a mistake, trying to correct it. I can't blame them. It's natural for them. But after getting used to performing, you get better and better at covering up your mistakes and truckin' right over them. It's and invaluable skill to have at this point in the game. It was a nice throwback though, and the recital was fun. Been so long since I've had a recital. Performances, sure, but recitals...
By the way, I'm bored. Anybody reading this nearby, take note, you should hang out with me. Yeah...
I got my name on a plaque for the second time this year. Felt good. I asked Mr. Haskell (band director) if it was possible to get the award next year, and he gave me some projects to consider.
1. Composing a piece for the band to learn and enter into a competition.
2. Composing a new piece of christmas music for the christmas concert.
3. Writing the show for next year, which very well may be a full-blown musical.
This is going to be awesome. You have no idea how this enthralls me.
On other news, now that summer has begun for me, I have found myself more bored than usual. I'm actually going to have to make up some credit in Algebra II over the summer, but I'm alright with that. I haven't started yet, that's the thing.
I'm beginning to mix up real life with my dreams. I store something, or find something somewhere, and when I wake up, part of me honestly believes that it's there. It's strange when you feel like you know where something is, and then realize that you based that off of a dream you recently had. It's like I'm going insane... I hope I'm not! Or, at least, I hope I'm not going more insane...
Oh! And I bought a microphone. Standard sort with the three prong plug in, not the greatest one out there, but pretty standard. Alon with that and the recently purchased boom stand, things are beginning to look pretty cool.
I had a piano recital this Thursday, and I played 'Oh Danny Boy' flawlessly. Listening to the other kids play their songs, I remember when I, like them, used to pause in the middle of a performance after a mistake, trying to correct it. I can't blame them. It's natural for them. But after getting used to performing, you get better and better at covering up your mistakes and truckin' right over them. It's and invaluable skill to have at this point in the game. It was a nice throwback though, and the recital was fun. Been so long since I've had a recital. Performances, sure, but recitals...
By the way, I'm bored. Anybody reading this nearby, take note, you should hang out with me. Yeah...
Monday, May 25, 2009
Focus
Alright Brian, I'll try to focus my points.
Today's theme! Music.
So I finally put Save For Rachel in production and managed to start selling it. Or finish selling it. See, we made forty copies, and I sold them for five dollars a piece.
They're all pretty much gone now. I'm sold out! What with this and the money from gifts for confirmation, I have more money right now than I ever have had on hand. I plan on using the money for musical equipment. Maybe a mic.
The equipment would come in handy, because I'm finally getting my own band together. No ideas for the name yet, but we've got most of our members solidly in place. By now we've had a couple of practices.
On top of that, as you may have gathered, the original cover concert concept for the band did not go through - EDG3 took it's place this year. Now that's it's summer, I've decided to start working on the production, making it into a full-fledged show with acting, stage presence, you name it. It'll be great.
EDG3! is tomorrow. Boy, am I excited.
My brother is begging to take the place of my current bass player and I'm considering it these days.
I played at mass a couple of weeks ago. Damn, that was fun.
Oh! And I believe that I'm going to have an audition with Del Parkinson at some point this summer. He's apparently the biggest name in piano in Boise. If I studied under him, it would be a huge boon to my musical knowledge. I hope it works out.
And I may have found a new album. I'll mention it later, don't worry...
Today's theme! Music.
So I finally put Save For Rachel in production and managed to start selling it. Or finish selling it. See, we made forty copies, and I sold them for five dollars a piece.
They're all pretty much gone now. I'm sold out! What with this and the money from gifts for confirmation, I have more money right now than I ever have had on hand. I plan on using the money for musical equipment. Maybe a mic.
The equipment would come in handy, because I'm finally getting my own band together. No ideas for the name yet, but we've got most of our members solidly in place. By now we've had a couple of practices.
On top of that, as you may have gathered, the original cover concert concept for the band did not go through - EDG3 took it's place this year. Now that's it's summer, I've decided to start working on the production, making it into a full-fledged show with acting, stage presence, you name it. It'll be great.
EDG3! is tomorrow. Boy, am I excited.
My brother is begging to take the place of my current bass player and I'm considering it these days.
I played at mass a couple of weeks ago. Damn, that was fun.
Oh! And I believe that I'm going to have an audition with Del Parkinson at some point this summer. He's apparently the biggest name in piano in Boise. If I studied under him, it would be a huge boon to my musical knowledge. I hope it works out.
And I may have found a new album. I'll mention it later, don't worry...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Finals Week
Yes, it's that time of year again. Time for pain and constant studying. Time for pivotal grades and unimaginable stress.
Time for finals.
Funny thing is I'm writing this during my first final - advanced computer programming. I'm pretty sure I aced it, but I'm also pretty sure it doesn't matter. We already had the AP test and I'm fairly certain I passed it. Mr. Holdridge said that if we passed it we automatically get an A in the class. I could've skipped it if I had wanted to. But I didn't.
You should've seen the halls this morning. Never do you see so many people running around, trying to memorize information. It's pretty ridiculous.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't think finals is that bad of an idea, but the thing is (at least at our school), finals have become a requirement. Teachers MUST give out a test the day of finals. That's where I take objection. Teachers should not be forced to give out a huge test at the end of the year. If they feel that it's necessary, than sure, but some classes don't really fit the bill. How are you supposed to give out a final in Horticulture? Or Moral Decision-Making? Or even Theology, if you spent most of your time in deep conversation about ethics rather than church history.
Either way, I'm not going to be getting great grades this semester. I've got two confirmed A's, but I'm afraid that may be all I'm getting this time around. I'll still be lucky if I pass Algebra II.
Ah well. It's just school. I'll keep that in mind.
Time for finals.
Funny thing is I'm writing this during my first final - advanced computer programming. I'm pretty sure I aced it, but I'm also pretty sure it doesn't matter. We already had the AP test and I'm fairly certain I passed it. Mr. Holdridge said that if we passed it we automatically get an A in the class. I could've skipped it if I had wanted to. But I didn't.
You should've seen the halls this morning. Never do you see so many people running around, trying to memorize information. It's pretty ridiculous.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't think finals is that bad of an idea, but the thing is (at least at our school), finals have become a requirement. Teachers MUST give out a test the day of finals. That's where I take objection. Teachers should not be forced to give out a huge test at the end of the year. If they feel that it's necessary, than sure, but some classes don't really fit the bill. How are you supposed to give out a final in Horticulture? Or Moral Decision-Making? Or even Theology, if you spent most of your time in deep conversation about ethics rather than church history.
Either way, I'm not going to be getting great grades this semester. I've got two confirmed A's, but I'm afraid that may be all I'm getting this time around. I'll still be lucky if I pass Algebra II.
Ah well. It's just school. I'll keep that in mind.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
What To Say...
Brian, help me out. What do you do when your life's so chaotic that you don't know what to blog about? It's hard to funnel these events in my life to produce some sort of moral or cohesive story at al. I just feel lost in my own life's happenings. It's all too much.
Well I'm having trouble filter it out, so I'll try to say it all.
School - My schoolwork's taking a hit because of my disorganization, and my absolute loathing of Algebra II. I'm going to have to pull out some serious studying for finals if I want to salvage myself. My interactions with my friends and acquaintances are changing rapidly, and I'm not sure how to react. Old friends suddenly start to look like trash, and bare acquaintances show an incredible person. Through it all, I find myself much more understanding than anybody in the school. I hear sharp, harsh 'shut ups' thrown around all the time to outsiders, and I hate it. I can't even remember the last time I said that and meant it seriously.
Music - The new piano lessons are going great. Did I mention? I may not have. I have a new teacher. Really cool dude. In contrast, the band is attempting a concert, but we are botching it terribly, and at this point, I dread that the thing will fail entirely - it won't happen, or won't be very good. Apart from that, I'm getting gigs weekly now, and it has had a profound affect on my life. Suddenly I work part-time (sort of). My income for a month has doubled. But on the other end of that, I'm spending a lot more on music as well - Save For Rachel is in final production stages, but with all the money by now that I've spent on CDs and cases and production in general, I'll have to sell at least ten albums to make up for my losses. Let me just say, I had better sell more than ten albums. If you're interested in receiving one, I will be selling them next week at school, and extras at any of my gigs (5 dollars a pop). If you're just a blog reader and interested, leave a comment and I'll try to figure something out. I'm still trying to get a band together...
Confirmation - I'm getting confirmed this coming Monday. I'm not sure what to think - my morality right now is still tossed about. I feel like I'm making progress, but I am so, so unsure of everything in life right now. Maybe this will help me find my way again. But I'm not sure it will.
I'm sure there's more to say, but there's too much too say to bother saying it. And if anybody knows how to upload mp3's to a blog, please, please leave a comment.
Well I'm having trouble filter it out, so I'll try to say it all.
School - My schoolwork's taking a hit because of my disorganization, and my absolute loathing of Algebra II. I'm going to have to pull out some serious studying for finals if I want to salvage myself. My interactions with my friends and acquaintances are changing rapidly, and I'm not sure how to react. Old friends suddenly start to look like trash, and bare acquaintances show an incredible person. Through it all, I find myself much more understanding than anybody in the school. I hear sharp, harsh 'shut ups' thrown around all the time to outsiders, and I hate it. I can't even remember the last time I said that and meant it seriously.
Music - The new piano lessons are going great. Did I mention? I may not have. I have a new teacher. Really cool dude. In contrast, the band is attempting a concert, but we are botching it terribly, and at this point, I dread that the thing will fail entirely - it won't happen, or won't be very good. Apart from that, I'm getting gigs weekly now, and it has had a profound affect on my life. Suddenly I work part-time (sort of). My income for a month has doubled. But on the other end of that, I'm spending a lot more on music as well - Save For Rachel is in final production stages, but with all the money by now that I've spent on CDs and cases and production in general, I'll have to sell at least ten albums to make up for my losses. Let me just say, I had better sell more than ten albums. If you're interested in receiving one, I will be selling them next week at school, and extras at any of my gigs (5 dollars a pop). If you're just a blog reader and interested, leave a comment and I'll try to figure something out. I'm still trying to get a band together...
Confirmation - I'm getting confirmed this coming Monday. I'm not sure what to think - my morality right now is still tossed about. I feel like I'm making progress, but I am so, so unsure of everything in life right now. Maybe this will help me find my way again. But I'm not sure it will.
I'm sure there's more to say, but there's too much too say to bother saying it. And if anybody knows how to upload mp3's to a blog, please, please leave a comment.
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